First of all,lemme tell you the world’s not round.Did you ever see it?NO.Did your dad see it?NO.Then what’s the big deal?You see a rabbit talk in those Looney tunes show,so would you believe that?You see Keanu Reeves doing the famous matrix stunt.Would you do that?Hell NO.

Fernando Alonso drives an F1 car,so does that make you king of the world or does it make him your chauffer?Bloody.No.

I have this watch of mine and it shows me the correct time.Does that make your computer processor P1?No

Poisonous mushrooms make you hallucinate(and die of course) and even booze makes you so.Then why do people just booze and put up bars,rather than putting up poisonous mushrooms’s shops everywhere?What the hell is this world doing?

People sleep at nights.Some don’t.And there’s this term called ‘Insomnia’.Then there must definitely be a term for the people who’re awake at daytime.Ain’t I right?Then whaaat?

And they termed those square boxing arenas as boxing rings.Duh.People.

And you,you,you are the main reason for the world’s madness.Why the eff are you here?Go to the loo and while away your time there,loo-face.

I know you haven’t gone to the bathroom for the past 6 days.Now go and change the world.It’s in dire straits cos of the smell you’re freezing us in.

I know you have no sense.And you’re good for nothing.All you do is yap.Now just shut up and go to sleep.

And oh,by the way,the world is indeed round you idiot.Else it won’t be rolling.Get a life.Why did you ever believe me?BYE

!@#$%^&*()_+

You saw those symbols,eh?Great.You know what?You’ll be dead by next week.Why?That’s because they contain voodoo.African desert voodoo baby.

It’s too good and you can’t escape.You’ll have cactii growing under your armpits soon.You can eat,but you can’t discharge what you eat.It’ll stagnate somewhere inside.

People will larff at your face and make fun of you.

Ever heard of chicken pox?Yeah?Then that’s what you’ll get.You can’t sleep,can’t eat,can’t drink,can’t do nothing.

Your brain will go blank and will remember nothing,except me,cos you have to curse me naa.You can’t even add 1 and 3.Dolt.

You’ll be paralyzed.Stuck to your bed and will curse me.Hahahah.Who cares?You’re a goner.

And yeah.I know I’m crazy

So die.

Yeah.7+2=9.What’s the big deal in it?Eh?

Look,I don’t care what you think the answer is.For me,it’ll always be 9.Cos I say so.Just because there’s no written proof of Newton’s answer,doesn’t mean it’s wrong.Now go get a life.Trust me,it’s 9.

And the magic is,even 3 multiplied by 3 is 9 too.Got that?You are a dolt to read this in the first place and then,you’re the biggest nincompoop on God’s green Earth not to believe what I’m saying.

Now kneel down and accept that 7+2=9.I dun give a rat’s a** even if you don’t accept it.But you’ll regret not doing it.

Why dun you use shaving cream for toothpaste?It’ll do you good.Clicking a blog link and reading it doesn’t make you a hero at all.Accepting what’s said in it will.

You need medication,kiddo.Go to your orthopaedician and get your baloney brains checked.Yeah.You heard me right.Orthopaedician and baloney brains.Go now and don’t show your ugly face again.YUCK.

*Mirror mirror on the wall who’s the ugliest of all?

**The moron who’s reading this all.

See.Everyone knows this.So better accept what I’ve said and remove your butt out of here.It’s stinking.

Cheerio!!!

Let’s see if you can pass my IQ test.Afterall,it’s my IQ test.Hahaha

-Prove or hence otherwise show that 2 plus 2 equals 5 for all non-zero values of 2.

-Little Johnny sharpens his finger in a pencil sharpener. If his arms are 1 meter long, and the speed of sound going through a diamond is smaller than the speed of light, how many more fingers will Little Johnny be able to sharpen before he feels the pain?

-How long would it take for these chickens to lay eggs?

-How long does it take for the kids to do all the things their parents did including having kids? (Bonus marks)

-Calculate the value of Mathematics and the square root of the colour green

-If I’m eating a ham sandwich at a rate of 24 bites per second and the sandwich has lettuce, pickles, and mustard, when will you finish his sandwich? (use the theory of unrelativity and the quadraticintic formula to find your answer.)

-Describe the taste of the alphabet ‘A’ without cheating and without asking me.

-If Johnny shoves a golf ball up his nose and dies on Friday the 13th, how much would his funeral cost ?

-Joshua is 27 years old. When he is walking down the stairs, there is a probability of 76% that he will fall. If he falls, there is a probability of 98% that he will break his spine. If he breaks his spine, there is a probability of 82% that he will be paralyzed. There is also a probability of 95% that this will happen one week before his birthday. He may also die (54%). Calculate the probability of this: Joshua falls down the stairs, does not break his spine, still becomes paralyzed, all 46 days before his birthday. Joshua does not die then, but dies later, on his birthday. You must use Bill Gates’ credit card in order to solve this problem, or you will get an F grade,you sicko.

-If you were given 1 banana, explain how you would make a hydrogen bomb out of the banana.

 -If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, can you calculate its diameter?

-If you had 3 Pepsi’s and drank 2 of them, how much more refreshed are you?

-Describe yourself and give 3 examples.

-If you’re using a laptop,then why did the chicken cross the railway track?

– If Aragorn is son of Arathorn, then explain what would happen if Schumacher does whatever.

-What’s the probability of Harry being Voldemort’s son?

-Why are you?

-What will be my next blog’s name?

-Explain to a salmon the Theory of Unrelativity, then train it to finish this test, using only sign language and a tissue.

-What is the gravitational pull of Christiano Ronaldo’s dive?

Okay.This is enough for now.You better not dissapoint me.Afterall,it’s a life and death teast for you.

You better get above some 50%.Else your girl/guy would ditch you.Yeah.According to E=mc^2.

So Good Luck pal

atcaaady54mux_l8s_42hovx4ie9sa1lsbyc9kcsqlbgtln2o5mwo22ywlwra0t0jrbdsrxug_da8of80lygaavhlofnajtu9vdqou7if0esgqwbejhstvpmom3inq.jpgPeople write creative blogs,but,me,NO.Never had an inch of creativity in my brains and the same applies to my blogs.NOW FIRST OF ALL,DO YOU CALL THIS A BLOG?Shit NO.

I died and rose up and I ain’t God.That’s because life and death are the same.

I don’t make up my mind quickly.Why?

That’s because I can’t.

Haha.Idiot.What else did you think,eh?

I’m a jerk and so are you.You’re double.

I suck.So do you.We all do.

Look.Am bored.Prolly bored to death.Okay.Just bugger off from here.I have some things to do

You, are the person reading this article, unless, of course, you’re not. But that would be awkward.

You are unique — just like everybody else. Ha! You got dissed by an article. That’s worse than being dissed by a person!

Subtext: get over yourself. No one really likes you. You suck. Like many of the things going on behind you, your friends are saying bad things about you and your relatives. All of that is your fault. You need to wise up and stop being so selfish. You’re wasting your time. I mean, seriously, who the fuck looks up a pronoun?! Obviously, you do.

You have a dim realization that nature has played a cruel trick on you but lack the intelligence to realize the magnitude of that trick. You love to quote Calvin and Hobbes, but not admit it. You are a moron, but you may never realize it, as you are so stupid. In fact, Nobody is dumber than you are. But apart from voting for an idiot, you are the worst idea your parents ever had.

But your sister is totally hot. And if you don’t have a sister, I mean… your cousin is sexy. Yum yum. But then again, if you lack cousins…your next door neighbour’s daughter is a total bitch. C’mon admit it, Someone is probably watching her change through her window, cause her house is THAT close!

Time Magazine’s Person of the Year 2007

<insert name here> thinks it tastes good.

<insert name here> thinks it tastes good.

Which, by definition, makes you a shim. It is unfortunate that Time Magazine has made such a horrendous error in judgment in naming you the Person of the Year for 2007. I guess they didn’t notice how awesome I am, and all the wonderful contributions I made to society, and me too. But some things  don’t even count!

You and stupidity

Both words go well together. Scientific studies suggest that they’re synonyms, and linguists say that they both come from the same Latin root.

But seriously, you have the intelligence of a granola bar. Scratch that. Your intelligence isn’t even comparable to a food item. But you’re still an idiot. I bet you support increasing our dependence on foreign oil or think that the government didn’t do 9/11.

Here’s an analogy: If all the village idiots, in all the villages in the world, left their villages to form their own village of village idiots, in that village of village idiots, <insert name here> would be the village idiot.

You’re ugly

If the Elephant man were to see you, he would vomit. Your ass looks like your face, and that’s a compliment. I mean, come on! Just look at you! Your face makes shit look like Pamela Anderson. If you were the first person alive, God would kill you and start over.

You’re so ugly you break any camera even pointed in your general direction. The person with the one camera that didn’t break shot himself before he would have been able to take the picture. And if the picture were somehow taken, it would immediately be uploaded to fugly.net. If that domain name doesn’t exist, it would be instantaneously created to host pictures of your fugliness. Put simply, you are fugly! Now go away! Go! Bog off! Before some crackhead mistakes you for a tree to piss on!

You and Death

You will die one day, my son/daughter/illegitimate love child. There are literally dozens of ways in which you could die. You could be eaten by a Grue. You could be the next victim of the terrible plague You could be tricked by a man telling you that if you look down the barrel of a gun and pull the trigger, candy will come out. You could be in a horror movie right now and not even know it!

Actually, you’re dead already. Nice try though.

You might watch a cursed video, and a telephone will ring. Then you’ll answer the phone and a voice will tell you to pass on the video or you’ll die in 7 days. With 5 seconds to go, Frankenstein will appear and rescue you by taking you to a time loop that begins 5 seconds after the phone rings. After 2^32-1 iterations there is 50-50 chance that Satan or Santa or a policeman will appear and break the loop. You won’t die alone, but you’ll wish you had.

But nobody really knows or cares about how you will die. We’re just speculating. But we do know that on the day of your death, we will all rejoice, as it will mark a new age for mankind, free from you. People will only come to your funeral for the seafood buffet. All your base are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time.

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